EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - THE WAY TO SUCCESS

Not education, not experience, not knowledge or intellectual horsepower serves as an adequate predictor as to why one person succeeds and another doesn’t. We have observed supposedly brilliant and well educated people struggle, while others with fewer obvious skills or attributes flourish.  The answer almost always has to do with the concept called emotional intelligence. It’s harder to measure and certainly difficult to capture on a resume, yet its power cannot be denied.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is different from Intelligence Quota (IQ). Over the years people have erroneously assumed that high IQ is the source of Success?  Today studies have revealed that people with the highest level of intelligence (IQ) outperform those with average IQs just 20 percent of the time, while people with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70 percent of the time! Scientist therefore surmises that there must be other cogent factor that’s responsible for success, and all points to EQ. There are no known connection between IQ and EQ? One simply cannot predict EQ based on how smart someone is. Cognitive Intelligence or IQ is not flexible. IQ short of traumatic event such as brain injury is fixed at birth. You don’t get smarter by learning new facts or information. Intelligence is your ability to learn and its same at age 15 as it’s at 50. EQ on the other hand is a flexible skill that can be learned, some people are naturally emotionally intelligent than others, a high EQ can be developed even if you aren’t born with it

What then is EQ? Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve results.

EQ impact on our professional success greatly. We have found that 90 percent of high performers are also high in EQ. People who develop their EQ tend to be successful on the job because the two go hand in hand. The link between EQ and earnings is so direct.

What emotional Intelligence Looks Like: EQ has four skills paired up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence. Personal competence is made up of yourself awareness and self management skills, which focus more on you individually than with your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies. Social competence is made up of your social awareness and people’s skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people moods, behavior and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships with them.

SELF AWARENESS:  Self awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations. Self awareness includes staying on top of your typical reactions to specific events, challenges and people. A keen understanding of your tendencies is important; it helps you quickly make sense of your emotions. A high degree of self awareness requires willingness to tolerate the discomfort of focusing on feelings that may be negative.

The only way to genuinely understand your emotions is to spend enough time thinking through them to figure out where they come from and why they are there. Emotions always serve a purpose, because they are your reactions to your world around you. Emotions always come from somewhere. Many times emotions seem to arise out of thin air, and it’s important to understand why something gets a reaction out you. People who do this can cut to the core of a feeling quickly. Situations that create strong emotions will always require more thought, and these prolonged periods of self reflection often keep you from doing something that you will regret.

Self awareness is not about discovering deep, dark secrets or unconscious motivations, but rather, it comes from developing a straightforward and honest understanding of what makes you tick. People high in self awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.

SELF MANAGEMENT: Self management is what happens when you act – or do not act. It is dependent on yourself awareness and is the second major part of personal competence. Self management is your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively.  Those who manage themselves the best are able to see things through without cracking.  Success comes to those who can put their needs on hold and continually manage their tendencies.

SOCIAL AWARENESS: This is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what other people are thinking and feeling even  if you do not feel the same way. Its easy to get caught up in your own emotions and forget to consider the perspective of the other party. Social awareness ensures you stay focused and absorb critical information.

Listening and observing are the most important elements of social awareness. To listen well and observe what’s going on around us, we have to stop doing many things we like to do. We have to stop talking, stop the monologue that may be running through our minds; stop anticipating the point the other person is about to make, and stop thinking ahead to what we are going to say next. It takes practice to really watch people as you interact with them and get a good sense of what they are thinking and feeling. At times, you will feel like anthropologist. Anthropologist makes their living watching others in their natural state without letting their own thoughts and feelings disturb the observation. This is social awareness in its purest form. To be socially aware, you have to spot and understand people’s emotions while you’re right there in the middle of it.

PEOPLE’S SKILL:  This is your ability to use the awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully. This ensures clear communication and effective handling of conflict. People’s skill is also the bond you build with others over time. People who manage relationship well are able to see the benefit of connecting with many different people, even those they are not fond of. Solid relationships are something that should be sought and cherished, they are the result of how you understand people, how you treat them, and the history you share.

The weaker the connection you have with someone, the harder it is to get your point across. If you want people to listen, you have to develop your people’s skill   and seek benefits from every relationship. The difference between an interaction and a relationship is a matter of frequency. It’s a product of the quality, depth, and time you spend interacting with another person.

Culled from: ‘Emotional Intelligence’, by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves